Don't Let Me Be Gone
by eruditedauntlessness
Summary: Gaby's insomnia is getting worse. Illya tries to comfort her and find a solution (at least a temporary one).
**Got bored on a train. This is the result (a positive one I'd like to think). Let me know what you think of this please! x**

Illya heard her get up. They were sharing a bed again but had agreed to keep their unresolved feelings in check, at least for while. Gaby gently shut the sliding bedroom door half way before making her way to the hotel suite's extensive drinks cabinet. She poured herself a generous glass of vodka and made her way to the windowsill. Watching the cityscape as though almost willing the sun to rise.

She remembers how she used to ask her father how long the night was and why it is so short when we sleep. Oh how she wishes she could still sleep. She knocked back half her glass of vodka and sighed. She knows that if she made plain her issues to Waverly, he'd have her sorted faster than she could recite what their code name stood for. The problem is, she's "dealt" with her sleep deprivation for so long that she doesn't think anything will help… Except the alcohol of course. She just needs to be numb enough to get to sleep and not have nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat, holding back choked sobs. Even if her mouth feels like sandpaper the next day. At least she can then do her job properly. Gaby drainer her glass. She envied Illya. He seemed to sleep so soundly. He just-

'Trouble sleeping, chop shop girl?' a rough yet playful voice emanated from the doorway to the bedroom. Gaby didn't turn around, still focused on the skyline. She didn't even answer. There was no need for small talk between them anymore. If she had nothing to say, then she wouldn't say anything, logically.

'Perhaps I join you for a drink.' Illya poured himself a glass and brought the bottle with him to top up the German's now empty one. She thanked him in Russian and he replied in kind. After another comfortable silence Illya spoke again. 'You should speak with Waverly. He could get a doctor to help.'

'I don't want to speak with Waverly.'

'Then will you at least talk with me?'

'There's nothing to talk about. I can't sleep, I drink so I can get to sleep, I wake up, I repeat the process.'

'But why?'

'I don't know.' She replied quickly. Too quickly.

'You know that you can tell me anything, Gaby.' He used her name to get her attention fully. She finally looked at him. Her eyes were slightly red, she had a look that resembled something not dissimilar to desperation in her eyes.

'I don't want to have nightmares anymore, Illya.' The Russian went to her instantly and picked her up off the windowsill before sitting down with her in his lap as she cried softly into his chest. He hushed her gently, stroking her hair.

'It's okay.' Illya murmured, kissing the top of her head. Gaby's tears subsided quickly as he rocked her back and forth.

'What do you have nightmares about?'

'I don't want to talk about it.' She said quietly.

'Alright.' Illya coaxed understandingly. They remained like this for a little while longer before Gaby finally plucked up the courage to disclose her thoughts.

'It changes, the nightmare. Sometimes it's about Victoria, sometimes my father, sometimes you, even Solo.' she finally spoke up. As inappropriate as the time was, Illya's heart swelled a little at the thought of her dreaming about him.

'And what happens?' Illya tried to ask casually.

'It's different each night but every time I end up alone, abandoned, helpless even. And I-' Gaby hiccuped, tears threatening to spill anew. Illya hushed her once more.

'It's okay. You do not need to say anymore if you don't want to. It's okay.' He held her to him as though he was trying to drive away all her fears of abandonment.

'I just don't want to be alone anymore.'

'Shh, Gaby, you're not alone. You have a family now. You do not need to be scared anymore.' Illya's heart was breaking. She should never have been allowed to feel like this in the first place. For once, he was at a complete loss of what to do. His mind raced as he tried to find more words, more anything to comfort her. Before his mind even caught up with his body he leaned forward and planted a gentle, chaste kiss on her lips. He pulled away just as quickly as he has leaned in. That was unfair. She was vulnerable and he shouldn't have done that.

'I'm sorry, Gaby, I shouldn't have-' she interrupted him by crushing her lips to his again briefly.

'It's alright.' She murmured, kissing the corner of his mouth. 'I needed that.' She chewed her lip, unsure whether she was about to start crying again or carry on kissing him.

'Gaby, I swear to you, as long as I am alive, you will never be alone. I swear it.'

'Illya.' She breathed before kissing him again. It was a desperate yet loving kiss. Illya revelled in the small noises she made as their lips remained connected, for how long, he didn't remember. When they pulled away they were both breathless. Gaby rested her forehead against his.

'I think maybe we go to bed, little chop girl?' Illya murmured.

'Alright.' Gaby said reluctantly, her voice a little hoarse.

Illya picked her up again and carried them into the bedroom. He lay her down and tucked her under the covers before making his way to his side and sliding up next to her. Gaby curled herself into his side and he wrapped his arms around her. Gaby tentatively closed her eyes. At least if she had a nightmare Illya would be able to comfort her. 'Good night little chop shop girl.' Illya whispered, kissing the top of her head. Gaby nestled herself further into the crook between his neck and shoulder. And although on reflex she tried to fight the overwhelming urge to succumb to her exhaustion, Gaby did finally fall asleep, protected from her nightmares by the Russian man beside her.


End file.
